Screaming into the silence of a world maddened by the rapid beats of telionic drums, I realize with intense pleasure that knowledge is a device used merely to gauge one’s superiority over another. What does make up knowledge? What are the benefits vis-à-vis the detriments, as proclaimed by the vocal throes of nature itself? Yet as I consider these things, I come to an understanding. I, however insignificant I may be, possess the power of knowledge. Where it can be employed varies, for to one my knowledge would be yesterday’s news. To another, my knowledge can be sheer genius. It may be the key to unlock a puzzle they have been contemplating for years – that man has been contemplating for centuries. And as I realize my knowledge is a thing that can impact the world around me, I shudder. Shudder in fright that the very thing I say could disalign the planets. Or could bring the concept of new and especially destructive weaponry.

The problem with the world today, is that too many people claim that they are looking for a couple of puppies, like those they ate as children. What they mean by this is that as things change in the world around them, they want to return to the days of old. The days where they could frolic in the autumn mists, springing to life in an abundance of jubilee, and ignore the cruelties of knowledge as it increases and threatens their own sense of stability. They seek the puppies of the past, where they were safe. Where they were in control, until they devoured them entirely. They then had nothing left, and had to change to find new things to devour. It is a sickness, an infection. Not unlike the properties of yeast. Yeast which denies resistance. It enters. It grows. It spreads. It can not be killed off. Beware of it! Beware, lest it consume you too! For within its clutches, it can carry many things. Seek not to devour knowledge and progress, for in doing so, you spread viruses and curses throughout the lands, throughout the world.

I was contemplating the other day. I was thinking of my desires to find a woman of such beauty; a woman who would shatter all images of loneliness and solitude. And I was contemplating these things, and wondering who could fit this description. And several names and faces…and bodies…popped into my mind. And then I thought to myself, STOPIT!!! Your neighbor’s toast is not your toast, nor is your neighbor’s marmalade your marmalade. These tasty bits of meal belong to someone else, and to even think of taking them is to think of theft! Thief! Bumbling robber! And then it all came together. In that moment I understood the intrinsic benefits that are derived from the communion between atomic theory and the impossibility of winged flight. Never before had I imagined they were so closely intertwined, but in that romantic moment, lacking the romance of which I imagined, it became clear.

For the atomic theory, the concept that the molecules are constantly in motion, yet appear to stand still is filled with loopholes. Loopholes which make the impossible merely improbable. Yet even in this improbability, we can find examples qua fact qua proof of these holes. Until some better theory is explained, let me share with you my findings.

As the electrons of an atom move, the speed is very high. Probably faster than you could drive in a Ferrari on the freeways of fastidious speed – 6 lanes! This is a concept that most people know, yet few seem to realize, or recall, as they think of the implications that this idea brings. The fact that the electrons move so quickly would indicate that they could move from their “beginning” spot, to a second location, and back before you could register it with your eye. This would show the electron as being everywhere in its prescribed path at once, or as a solid body, if you will. “So it is an optical illusion,” you ask? Absolutely not! While this does include the art of illusion, to an extent, we must ask ourselves then “Why does my can of soda not fall through the desk?” As the electrons move in their prescribed fields, the wind velocity spins the atom as a whole. This caused by rogue electrons streaking through the air, playing the kid hero in search of the special princess who doesn’t know she is a princess, and he has to kiss her to fully understand all that she is. He does not know, but he plays the part…just as do these rogue electrons, soaring through the sky to find just the right atom to become one with…as I search for just the right woman to become one with. As these atoms spin, the axis of the circling electrons constantly changes, thus providing a circular protection first one way – then another – and so on. Which brings us to a dilemma. If this is true, then how in the world could winged flight be possible? Would not these chaotic masters of movement repel the wing resistance for those seeking to fly? So it would follow that some exception must be true, lest winged flight is but an illusion of the mind’s eye as well.

This brings us to a little theory I like to call Preubum Hoc Vidi ad Nucus. This theory claims that as one atom has electrons spinning around it, and electrons striking its surface to rotate it, there is a force field. Not a force field that keeps everything out, per se, but one that protects with a 98.731121% assurance. This leaves ~1.268878% chance that something could get through. It would have to move as quickly and be perfectly N’SYNC with the atom, but an electron from another atom could do this effectively, provided the rogue electrons are kept at bay. Very improbable, yes, but it does happen. Seeing as this is possible, it follows that winged flight must use this (or a similar) theory to achieve its success. The electrons of the winged object seeking to fly would need to be perfectly aligned, so as not to collide with one another, and the molecules present in the air would need to be lenient enough to not prevent initial resistance. Once in motion, the momentum of said winged object would give greater support to its collision of air molecules, thus eventually rendering the collisions merely an annoyance as it hurls itself through the sky. And all this I got from looking at a hot married woman. Incredible!
This was an exercise I did a while back where I had a coworker give me a few topics and phrases, and a quote. I had to tie them all in together. It get’s a bit wacky, but I think it turned out into an entertaining piece of writing. Please note that scientifically, I have no idea what I’m talking about.


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